The Opossum Story: A Preamble

Here is my attempt at sharing the worst experience of my life. Labor pales in comparison because that was joy infused with pain. This was just sheer horror. (Yes, I did get my BA in Melodramatic Writing.)

Since I am a long-winded blogger, I've split this story into three parts: preamble, part one and part two. I know, the suspense is incredible but do try to sleep tonight.

Background
For this story to be truly appreciated, you must understand two things.

1. I am scared of any creature who might want to gnaw on my leg. Animals in this category include (but are not limited to):

• mice
• rats
• squirrels
• raccoons
• moles
  
• beavers
• otters
  
• badgers
• groundhogs
  

This was always my irrational fear until Aug. 20, 2006 when it switched from irrational to 100 percent, completely, totally and always rational. At least in my mind.

My initial fears can be traced back to "The Badger Game" episode on "Lassie." I don't remember the details but I do remember Timmy is trapped in a dirt hole with a ferocious badger in a gunny sack. The badger breaks free and TRIES TO GNAW HIS LEG OFF!

(OK, I really don't know if the badger goes for the leg but he was vicious and Lassie had to come to Timmy's rescue.)

2. I have only heard one story of opossums in my entire life. It was on the radio when I was little, maybe 9 or 10 years old, riding in the car. A listener called into a home improvement talk show to find out how to get rid of opossums in the house.

This woman had four (count 'em, FOUR!) in her oven drawer. My mom and I still remember this call and have always been a little jumpy around oven drawers.

Now that you know this information, you'll fully be able to appreciate the coming story.

Here is The Opossum Story: Part One