Recently heard

After Joe looked through our library bag

Joe: You got a lot of books this time.
Katie: I got the same number as you.
Joe: Yeah, but mine are picture books.
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I brought disaster brownies to dinner with family last night. They looked like the topography of an arid desert and had 2000 tiny holes all over. I clearly messed something up with the recipe.

10-year-old cousin: Mom, why did she check it so many times with a toothpick?
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While reading a touch-and-feel book to Madeline

Katie: Do you want to feel the duck's, um, uh, fur?
Joe shoots me an incredulous look
Joe: They're called feathers. Ducks have feathers.

In my defense, what was in the book was way more like fur than feathers. And I was tired.