A post for my parents

I love blogging because I have an outlet to share my heart without bombarding my husband when he comes home. He probably loves my blogging too for that reason.

And I love writing posts like this, ones that express just how much I love being a mom.

After reading it, my mom told me that post made her proud of me and the decisions I've made. Which pretty much made my day week year.

And I started crying in the car. I don't think I've done that since Madeline was six weeks old and I heard "Jesus Take the Wheel" for the first time since having her. I heard the line, "baby in my backseat," and I thought, "OH MY WORD I HAVE A BABY IN MY BACKSEAT" and couldn't stop bawling.

I never got the baby blues but I think crying over Carrie Underwood counts as "emotionally unstable."

Anyways.

I cried because when I wrote that post, I didn't think about motherhood from the flip side. From my mom's perspective.

I want to put time and effort into raising Madeline just like the builders of the great cathedrals: for the glory of God. I know Madeline will make me proud to be her mother and so I press on.

But I didn't think that when my mom read the post, I might make her proud. I forgot. I'm my mom's Westminster Abbey.

My mom is wonderful. You know this is you've met her. She stayed home for 18 years raising my brothers and me and didn't go back until my youngest brother was in first grade. She was a mom who made us want to go back home because we loved our home. She loved on us and never once have I doubted it. She did everything good moms do and more.

For the record, my dad is wonderful, too. You know this is you've met him. He worked hard so my mom could stay home. So we could have excellent schooling. So we could all go to college. He ignited my love for reading by reading "Anne of Green Gables" and "A Little Princess" out loud to me before bedtime. He loved on us and never once have I doubted it. He did everything good dads do and more.

I am who I am because of my parents' sacrifices (emotional and financial) to put their kids before their needs. For the glory of God. They carved intricate birds into the wooden beams of my life, efforts no one else but God could see. Because they knew it was worth the effort.

I'm not saying I grew up into a perfect person. Far, far from it. I know I've disappointed and hurt them and others. I know I've screwed up more times than forgiveness should be extended.

But they introduced redemption, grace and love to me. They introduced me to the maker of these things: Jesus. And because of that, I love. And love is the only thing capable of making a difference in this world.

So while I'm encouraged to press on building my cathedral with Madeline, I don't want to forget about myself: a cathedral still in progress, still capable of making my parents proud.

I hope I do because I'm proud to be their daughter.