$500 is a high price for killing a raccoon but possibly worth it

I might have mentioned my sometimes-but-sometimes-not irrational fear of rodents a couple of times. Maybe a bazillion. Whatever.

I don't have this fear for attention; the fear is real and true and deep-rooted in a horrific Lassie episode.

Matilda was my first true encounter. And after last weekend, I now believe all rodents have heard about me and are conspiring to come to find me.

We went up to South Haven, Michigan for a beach day with my family. It was a wonderful day. Madeline loved it all, the sand, the waves, the boats, everything. It was perfect weather, a beautiful setting and some of my very favorite people in the world.

In other words, it was the complete opposite of last year.

So, of course, something had to go wrong.

Since our trusty (except that one time when I was sure I was going to die) Honda has 235,000 miles on it, we don't expect him to make long trips. He's put in his time in 1994 and deserves a break every now and then.

And yes, our car has a name. We love him that much. He is our Steed because Webster defines steed as "a spirted horse, as for war." Fits him perfectly.

Have I mentioned I love Steed? He is so good to us.

Anyways....

For any length of road trip, we rent a car and leave Steed home. It's $18 a day through Enterprise and totally worth it to not stress about Steed breaking down hours from home. Because I'm sure when he gives up, he's going to go out with style and totally blow up in smithereens.

Since this wasn't a long trip, we opted to not get the $15 insurance. Because why pay an extra $15 when the car just costs $18?

ANSWER: YOU PAY $15 BECAUSE IF ANYTHING, I REPEAT, IF ANYTHING HAPPENS, YOU DON'T PAY A CENT MORE.

For a mere $15, we could have smashed that little Hyundai to bits and not be responsible for the damages at all.

But no, we decided to not buy the insurance because we're cheap like that.

On our way back home, around midnight and after passing Mexico, Indiana (I can't make up details like that, folks; it's all true), we hit a raccoon.

Actually, we nailed a raccoon. Hard.

I believe he was coming for me. Coincidence that my last blog title included the word "raccoon?" I think not.

Instead of attacking me and fulfilling his mission, he hit the radiator, causing the car to overheat, make a loud funky sound and shudder to a stop.

I can't really express the joy of waiting on the highway shoulder, waking Madeline up to transfer her to my brother's car, realizing Joe, my parents and two other brothers would have to wait in a gas station parking lot for TWO HOURS for a tow truck and understanding this fun little experience would cost us an insurance deductible.

Oh, the joys of being an adult. Who doesn't buy the additional insurance.

ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS BUY THE INSURANCE, PEOPLE!

Have I made that point yet?

The following day, Joe and I discussed our road trip luck. Or lack thereof.

On our first trip, way back in college, we hit a dog. A big dog while going about 90 mph at 4 a.m. That resulted in another busted radiator and two hours of sitting on a nasty, nasty, nasty gas station floor.

We have had our fair share of flat tires and speed-trap tickets.

We once drove an hour and a half in the wrong direction. Like, totally wrong direction. North, instead of east.

"I thought the Rocky Mountains would be rockier than this."
"That John Denver's full of..."

Please tell me you get that line and don't think I'm just crazy.

But despite our dumb luck, we have never been hurt or hurt anyone else. And for that, I'm thankful.

I'm $500 poorer but thankful.

And there's one less raccoon haunting your highways. You're welcome.