And then "someday" arrives

When I was pregnant, I tried to imagine me as a mom. Holding a baby. Rocking a baby.

While I gradually got used to the idea of my belly growing largely than what should be humanly possible, I couldn't get used to the idea that someday, I would be carrying around a child in my arms. A child who might look like me or might look like Joe.

My life + a baby = hard to imagine.

Then "someday" arrived.

When she first opened her eyes and clutched onto my finger, it wasn't hard to believe she was ours. It seemed so natural that she belonged to us because she was the perfect blend of my eyes and Joe's nose.

It felt like I knew this baby my entire life.

Even though I knew someday she would grow into a toddler, I couldn't imagine a child who walked around. Who talked. Who mimicked my hand movements. I knew that little person would be coming soon but I couldn't imagine it.

Madeline Jane + 2 years = no way

Now that "someday" is here and once again, it's very normal to me that see her careening around the corners of our house. Putting on her own shoes. Using scissors and glue.

Once again, it truly feels like I've known this child my entire life.

This morning, I realized that someday she will run into our home and throw her backpack on the kitchen table and tell me all about kindergarten. She'll chatter on and on but she won't jibber in Madeline-ese which sounds like a strange blend of German and Chinese and is something I wish every human could hear before she perfects pronunciation of the English language.

I know 3-year-old, 4-year-old and 5-year-old Madeline is coming faster than I can realize and I know I'll love her then even more than I do now. But that doesn't make it any harder to comprehend.

So for now, I'll hug and squeeze and kiss and love on my 2-year-old. The one who ran up to me today and said, "Jesus is holy, Mommy" and then promptly asked for a brownie.

Yes, He is, honey. And I would like a brownie too.