(No, I'm not a procrastinator. Why do you ask?)
Normally, my list of resolutions looks something like this:
- eat less, move more
- watch less TV, clean the house more
- be a better wife, a better mom, a better Christian
Trust in the Lord and do good.
Psalm 37:3
Psalm 37:3
Last summer, I attended Beth Moore simulcast on Psalm 37 which was an amazing experience. When she preached on verse 3, she pointed out that God didn't write, "be right" or "say the right things."
He said, "do good."
I'm in a season of life when mothering and taking care of my family and home consumes my time. And while I believe staying home is very worthwhile and its own ministry, God has also shown me that it doesn't mean I can't serve in other ways.
He's also pointed out that I've been using it as an excuse to not serve. (Ouch. Yeah that one hurt.)
Just because I have a 2 year old doesn't mean I'm totally incapable of helping an inner-city after-school program. My friend just brings her two toddlers with her to play with the other kids.
Or I can pick up several extra cans at the grocery for a food pantry and love on others who need a little extra help.
Or I could even commit several evening hours once a week somewhere without thinking I'm abandoning my family.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I often say that I need to really pray something over and feel that peace before I can do something but really? Do I need to wait for God to say, "Katie, go do some good."
Because from everything I've been reading in the Bible, He says that. A lot.
If I'm totally rambling and not making sense, Ashleigh's post captured a lot of what I've been mulling over.
God also said to trust Him.
This is something I've struggled with this year. As amazing and rewarding as staying home is, it is isolating too. It often is very lonely.
(This sounds very emo so please picture me with heavy black eye-liner, OK?)
There are days when I don't leave the house at all and even the days that we do get out, we always spend the afternoon at home for Madeline's nap.
When I do express that I'm struggling to understand my purpose while wiping the table once again, I often hear, "Oh but what you are doing is important. Don't feel that way."
I know it's well-intended but I want to say back, "I know it is! Otherwise I wouldn't be devoting years of my life towards staying home! But that doesn't change the fact that cleaning the house and having my thirteen-millionth tea party and answering, 'What's this?' 752 times a day can feel futile."
But then that's the problem, isn't it? It feels futile and every stinkin' time, feelings overwhelm and bury the facts.
Because the fact is I know this is what I should be doing. I know that is what is best for my family. I know all this but this fall and winter, I let my feelings grow and choke out these facts and have been having quite the pity party.
But the pity party is over. The fact is I'm doing exactly what I should and (truly, madly, deeply) want to be doing. I just have to remember to trust God on the days that aren't filled with daisies and bunnies and warm fuzzies.
So this year, while I also want to finally lose that dang baby weight and actually dust the ceiling fan blades in our bedroom, I want to first strive to do good and trust God.
And if you read these convoluted thoughts all the way through, I love you and promise to be back again soon.
He said, "do good."
I'm in a season of life when mothering and taking care of my family and home consumes my time. And while I believe staying home is very worthwhile and its own ministry, God has also shown me that it doesn't mean I can't serve in other ways.
He's also pointed out that I've been using it as an excuse to not serve. (Ouch. Yeah that one hurt.)
Just because I have a 2 year old doesn't mean I'm totally incapable of helping an inner-city after-school program. My friend just brings her two toddlers with her to play with the other kids.
Or I can pick up several extra cans at the grocery for a food pantry and love on others who need a little extra help.
Or I could even commit several evening hours once a week somewhere without thinking I'm abandoning my family.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I often say that I need to really pray something over and feel that peace before I can do something but really? Do I need to wait for God to say, "Katie, go do some good."
Because from everything I've been reading in the Bible, He says that. A lot.
If I'm totally rambling and not making sense, Ashleigh's post captured a lot of what I've been mulling over.
God also said to trust Him.
This is something I've struggled with this year. As amazing and rewarding as staying home is, it is isolating too. It often is very lonely.
(This sounds very emo so please picture me with heavy black eye-liner, OK?)
There are days when I don't leave the house at all and even the days that we do get out, we always spend the afternoon at home for Madeline's nap.
When I do express that I'm struggling to understand my purpose while wiping the table once again, I often hear, "Oh but what you are doing is important. Don't feel that way."
I know it's well-intended but I want to say back, "I know it is! Otherwise I wouldn't be devoting years of my life towards staying home! But that doesn't change the fact that cleaning the house and having my thirteen-millionth tea party and answering, 'What's this?' 752 times a day can feel futile."
But then that's the problem, isn't it? It feels futile and every stinkin' time, feelings overwhelm and bury the facts.
Because the fact is I know this is what I should be doing. I know that is what is best for my family. I know all this but this fall and winter, I let my feelings grow and choke out these facts and have been having quite the pity party.
But the pity party is over. The fact is I'm doing exactly what I should and (truly, madly, deeply) want to be doing. I just have to remember to trust God on the days that aren't filled with daisies and bunnies and warm fuzzies.
So this year, while I also want to finally lose that dang baby weight and actually dust the ceiling fan blades in our bedroom, I want to first strive to do good and trust God.
And if you read these convoluted thoughts all the way through, I love you and promise to be back again soon.
7 comments:
Thanks for sharing and being honest! I love you!! :)
i heart you katie mayes. and we need to see each other more. :) and i echo a lot of your feelings and thoughts on staying home. but mostly about Jesus and trusting him. :) i'll stop rambling in your comment section now. :) P.S. we, i mean the girls, should play...did i say that already?
That is so good- and so true. Sometimes we just complicated things way to much, probably more times than not, as an escape and an excuse! It really can be just that simple. Do Good. Thanks for sharing that verse!!
Thanks so much for the honesty and for being so vulnerable! Love you girl!
I HEAR YOU!!! you are not alone, Katie Mayes....many a stay at home mom out there feels and thinks those same things. thanks for saying it! :) On a side note- your decision to do good/help others/get involved more is going to be a HUGE example of Christ to Maddie...those things may shape her life just as much as tea parties with mommy! keep pressing on, dear cousin!
Love the post! It's amazing to watch you mother Madeline. You're understanding, you're patient, you're encouraging, you're funny and the list goes one. All of us can do more in our lives and it's great that you are open to hear the Lord in this area of your life! Love it!
Post a Comment