Two full lives

In the last post, I talked (and talked and talked) about some of the highs of April.

I don't want to be a Debbie Downer but I really want to share the lows of the past month as a tribute to two people I love and now miss.

Two of Joe's grandparents passed away within a few weeks of each other. His family was very blessed to have all four of his grandparents live full lives well into their eighties but that doesn't soothe the sting of losing someone you dearly love.

Joe's Grandma Collins (his mom's mom) passed away earlier this month. I am so happy that I got to know her before her health declined. 

Years ago, I tried to call her Mrs. Collins but she just patted my leg, told me I was a pretty girl and asked me to call her Grandma. She was a sassy lady who always dressed smart and loved to match her jewelry, jackets and shoes. She had a rich, loud laugh that always made me feel comfortable because how can you not love someone who clearly loves life? She lived her life so that you always knew she loved Jesus, her husband and family, and her friends very much.

For spring break during my sophomore year in college, I traveled with Joe and one of his brothers down to their grandparents' winter home. Among so many things I remember from that trip, I'll always remember how she made homemade biscuits from scratch every morning while we were there. 

Those biscuits aren't a special memory because they were super delicious (even though they totally were), but because she got up early to make a big breakfast for us every morning just because that's how she showed her love. She loved caring for her family and that was always very apparent.

When you were around her, she just wanted you to have a good time which often meant eating a lot of homemade food and playing cards. If that last statement didn't make it perfectly clear, Grandma Collins was my kind of woman.

Last week, Grandpa Mayes (Joe's dad's dad) passed away. He called every male in his family, "Son," with his soft, southern voice. Every Christmas, he requested that the family sing "Jingle Bells" and his face lit up as all 60 of his loved ones belted it out. When he prayed, you knew he was talking passionately to a God whom he dearly loved and a God who deeply loved him back

In a funny twist of fate, my mom's family grew up next door to Joe's family. Joe and I didn't meet until college but I knew most of his cousins, aunts and uncles before I met him. This family relationship has always been very special to me.

Every time I saw Grandpa Mayes, he would ask how my aunts and uncles were doing and asked me to tell them hi. My mom can remember Grandpa Mayes reading his Bible on his front porch. He was the first person she knew who really read to the Bible, cover to cover, over and over again. When my uncle was severely injured in Vietnam, Grandpa Mayes and Joe's dad (a teenager then) came over to my grandparents' house to pray with them.

I've heard that story many times because that act of faith left a deep impression on my mom and her siblings but I'm crying now after typing it out because that's how Grandpa Mayes's faith was: if you knew that man, then his faith made a deep impression on you.

Losing Grandma Collins and Grandpa Mayes was hard for me because I know that they prayed for me often. Grandma Collins told me that she loved praying for her family and Grandpa Mayes would frequently tell all of his grandkids that he prayed for us by name every day. 

That might sound selfish but I just mean that really hurts to lose people who loved me very much, enough to lift me up daily before God. I just mean that I really loved both of them.

I've told Madeline this many times over the last few weeks and I really want to believe my own words. "We're sad because we miss them but we're happy because they are with Jesus."

"And, Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,

the clouds be rolled back as a scroll.

The trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend.

Even so, it is well with my soul."

I really love the word "smattering"

I know I've been pretty quiet around here. And by quiet, I realize this means non-existent for the month of April.

It's been a busy month in our household with lots of highs and lows.

(This post will also include a smattering of photos which do not correlate with any statements made and serve no purpose other than proving how adorable my kid is.)

(Also, if these photos make you think I now walk around with a camera, you are sorely mistaken. I'm stealing them all from Jen.)

The highs are as follows:

Madeline is living and breathing for two upcoming events, her birthday next month and the start of preschool next August. If you come within a five mile radius of her, she will hear you approaching and a) remind you that her birthday comes after Easter and b) she can no longer schedule play dates because she is going to school.

If you think I'm exaggerating, you can ask anyone we know in real life, including but not limited to: family, friends, the waitstaff at Cafe Patachou and a kind mom with a real heart for listening in Chick-Fil-A last week.

We've blown through 17 possible birthday themes because her opinion is like a tumbleweed just blowin' with the wind. Currently, she is begging for a guard theme. As in she wants to dress up like the male guard in Tangled, complete with a hat with a feather and brown gloves. Oh, and she wants a real horse to authenticate the ensemble.

Mama says what??

Me: "Um, can we just do a Rapunzel theme?"

Madeline: "I just really really want to have a guard birthday, Mama."

I might whip out my executive mom card with this one. (It's gold-plated.)

And preschool, ah preschool. To say Madeline is excited to go to school is like saying I just kinda like Leona Lewis singing "Bleeding Love." If you tell her, "see you soon," chances are good that she'll respond, "I'm so sorry I can't. I have school."

I think some people in Indianapolis are getting the impression that I'm shipping Madeline off tomorrow to a year-round boarding academy instead of waiting four months to drive her three mornings a week to the church preschool down the road.

Another high was attending a super fun wedding which reminded me that I will totally rue the day when Journey and Black Eyed Peas are not part of the dance floor rotation. Nothing makes me throw my hands in the air like "Don't Stop Believing" and "I Gotta Feeling."

However, nearly every wedding reminds me of my sheltered childhood and how I totally missed the boat on "Thriller." For reals, I don't know any words or dance moves to that song. I just observe and morosely ponder why that song was (and is still) so popular.

And while we're talking about my feelings about wedding dance songs, let me just take this moment to also express my extreme sadness after walking back to the dance floor from taking Madeline to the bathroom and realizing I was hearing the last few lines of "Bye, Bye, Bye."

Being 28 years old in 2011 doesn't allow for many chances for me to jump up and down and flop my arms to 'N Sync.

I've come to realize that sometimes in life, I will start questioning all my parenting methods and wonder if I'm a good mom or just messing up my kid. And sometimes the clouds part and warm sunshine will dapple the floor and life will remind me that I'm doing okay and Madeline will be just fine. The wedding/dance party presented one of those moments.

Madeline hit the dance floor for every single song (save "Bye Bye Bye" SNIFF!) and when each song began, she would look around to catch eye contact with someone, throw her hands up and scream like a college girl on a Thursday night and bust her moves.

I was so proud.

I was going to write about the lows but that was because I didn't know how much I could ramble about preschool and 'N Synce. I'll be back tomorrow. Promise.