You know you're pregnant when...

I really think if someone brought me a platter of Buffalo boneless chicken wings, Monical's breadsticks, a Taco Bell nachos supreme, Christina's spicy cheesy chicken dip and a Boogie Burger, I could eat it all in one sitting.

Preggers, party of one.

I’ve reached some critical, noteworthy milestones in this pregnancy so let's make note of them.

1. The ring is off.

In full disclosure, my engagement ring hasn’t fit since, oh, about 8 weeks into the pregnancy. When Joe gave it to me, it was fitted to circle my pre-wedding-sized finger. My wedding band has always been slightly looser since it has stayed a standard store size. But this week, I had to fight the wedding band off so I don't risk having it cut off.

I’m a little sad about that. It's not because my fingers are getting pudgy (just wait until my feet turned into swollen, non-hairy Hobbit feet in November). I just really love my wedding band. It’s a simple, thin band without any sparkle or glitz and has a special engraving on the inside. But that’s why I love it to the moon and back. For the record, I really love the diamonds on my engagement ring but I love looking down and seeing something so simple to symbolize how much I love Joe. 

Now I'm faced with a major decision: should my finger go nekkid for the next several months (let's be real, potentially the next year) or should I go buy an over-the-top Walmart $8.88 ring? These are the questions that plague my days.

And if you know me at all, you must have already known that I'm seriously contemplating something like this.

2. Laundry baskets, my belly and stairs are a dangerous cocktail. 

Now this is a milestone I can totally get behind. Our washer and dryer are down in the dark dungeon of our basement (also known as the entry point for Matilda). Needless to say, this is my least favorite spot in the house. Now that my belly has reached an immense diameter, it’s tricky to carry the baskets down the uneven steps and I'm in need a strong man’s arms. Like Joe’s.

I still do the laundry once it’s down there but he’s now in charge of carrying the baskets up and down the stairs. The one negative aspect of this arrangement is folding. I like to reward myself at the end of laundry days by piling all the clean clothes on our bed, fold the clothes and put them away, all while watching “Judge Judy.” (Don’t judge.) 

So should I let the clothes get wrinkled in a basket all day while I wait for 4 p.m. to roll around or do I just put on my big girl pants and fold without "You think you're smarter than me?!" and "Do I look like an idiot?" shouting in the background?

My life is tough, folks.

3. Madeline is Queen of the Dustpan 

In a house with all hardwood floors, I have to sweep every day. Between my scalp’s lifelong dream to shed every stand of hair and Joe’s love for peanuts, our house can very quickly resemble a hairy, dusty Texas Roadhouse if I don’t stay on top of it.

But, again, due to the girth of my belly, I can no longer touch the floor which means Madeline has to retrieve all the small items and coins that I drop. It also means she has to press the edge of a dustpan to the floor while I maneuver the broom because there is no other option. 

Thankfully Madeline is young enough to think housework is awesome, especially since she and I have matching handmade aprons sewn by Jenn. We spent Monday in our aprons cleaning the house. She was so adorable as she helped and I was surprised by how much she is capable of doing. After I washed the dishes, she rinsed and put them in the drying rack. She held the dustpan and emptied it in the trash. She folded laundry (I had to re-fold but totally didn’t mind) and put the piles away in the appropriate drawers. She was so helpful and Joe couldn’t help but bring home a bag of Skittles for her. We were pretty proud of her.

When I'm the black sheep, He's still the Good Shepherd

A couple of weeks ago, Madeline was feeling scared at bedtime and asked if we could check on her after a little while. I immediately reassured her that Joe and I check on her every night. I wasn't expecting her entire face to light like she was watching Peyton connect to Reggie in the end zone. 

"You mean you come in when I'm sleeping and look at me?!" She was in awe that we tiptoe into her bedroom every night just to make sure she's safe and sleeping. She became downright giddy when I told her I even give her kisses while she's dreaming.

This piece of information has become a source of immense joy and comfort to her. I wish I knew three years ago what it would mean to her because I would have told her every night since then that it's true.

Now she always asks at bedtime, "You'll come check on me after I'm asleep, right?" And every night, she revels in knowing our love will come, even though she won't be in a state to receive it. It gives me so much joy to give her this kind of strengthening comfort when darkness falls.

Last weekend, I attended the Women of Faith conference. If I'm being honest, I bought my ticket solely to hear Angie Smith. I've followed her blog for four years and absolutely love her passion for God, her humor that makes me laugh at a computer screen and her love for all things Target. But I was really thrilled to enjoy all the speakers, especially Sheila Walsh. Her stories and perspectives moved me deeply.

She shared an intense, personal story that I couldn't even dare to retell here but that experience made John 10 a vivid reality to her. Through tears, she reminded us that it is not our job to find our way home. It is the Shepherd's job and He always knows where to find us.

"The Shepherd always knows where to find me."

Having a child has helped me experience God's love in a radically different way. In my head, I've always known God is our Heavenly Father but I never really thought much about it until college. There I learned from other women how a terrible father can dynamically distort a person's view of God. My own dad is a fantastic man and has only helped me draw closer to God, never a barrier. Because of his example, I was thankfully fine, even if not overly-enthused, with God as my Heavenly Father.

But when I became a mom and as I watched Joe become a dad, I saw God as my Heavenly Father in a new and different way. The moment I first held Madeline, I had a burning love for my baby and knew I would do anything to protect her. Over the next several months, I spent hours in the white glider, stroking Madeline's thick hair while she nursed, thinking over and over, "This is how much God loves me. No, He loves me even more, more than I can imagine.

Madeline's joy with having parents who check on her reminds me once again how much God loves me. He knows I am a creature who struggles with fear and needs constant reminders that I am loved, that I am safe and that I matter to God and other people. And just like how I love to watch Madeline sleep, knowing she is safe, God absolutely delights in reassuring me that I am safe, that I am loved and that I do matter to Him and other people. That's why I love the Bible; it tells me these things over and over again.

Joe and I don't check on Madeline because she asked us. We've been doing it since she tumbled into our lives. We check on her because we love seeing her safe with her legs curled and her knees touching her chest. 

On the nights when her legs dangle over the edge of the bed, her arms uncomfortably thrown above her head, I don't ask Joe to move her because Madeline asked me. No, we move her because we don't want her to wake up stiff and sore.

We are incapable of not taking care of her and I believe God takes care of me because His very nature is love and His love for me is wide and deep and unconditional.

If I'm sleeping or awake, the Shepherd knows where to find me.

If I'm trying desperately to be the good girl or if I'm deliberately walking away from God to become a black sheep, the Shepherd knows where to find me.

If I'm hurt or in a painful position, the Shepherd knows where to find me.

Whether I'm caring or selfish, happy or mad, pretty or unable to fit in my fat jeans, trusting of God or fearful of everything, He will leave the other 99 sheep to rescue me because He always knows where to find me. 

I find so much joy, hope and promise in knowing that is the vivid reality for all of us.

"In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! 

I have overcome the world!"

John 16:33

Looking back at week 26

Last week consisted of a doctor's appointment, fire stations, an ultrasound, Shania Twain's autobiography, lab tests, some baby part sticking to my ribs, lab results, kiddie chapter books and intense cravings.

During my regular check-up on Monday, my doctor measured my bump around 31 weeks instead of 26 weeks. (I guess feeling big wasn't all in my head.) He wanted me to get an ultrasound on Wednesday to see if there was a reason.

So Tuesday was really fun inside my head. 

Thankfully, I had just attended a Women of Faith conference that weekend and had God's promises rolling around constantly. Madeline and I spent the day baking cookies and brownies, sneaking in bites of cookie dough and brownie crumbs and delivering them with our small group to several fire stations that night. 

In related news, Madeline now wants to be a firefighter and wears her fire helmet everywhere.

She's also takes her role as big sister very seriously and is incapable of letting Baby Rockne miss anything, even in utero.

Wednesday morning finally arrived and we learned that the baby is growing healthy and big at around 2 pounds, 11 ounces and I'm carrying extra fluid, all accounting for measuring five weeks too big.

Oh, how I love typing "big" over and over again.

The great part about a bonus, unexpected ultrasound is getting to see this baby with chubby cheeks and full lips. We saw hiccups gently bounce the entire little body up and down. We watched two little fists rub the little eyes, nose and cheeks.

Ultrasound pictures are kinda tricky because you want to show them to people but you're basically asking, "Want to see inside my uterus?" But when there's so much beauty within, you just have to show the world.

I loved seeing that Mayes 2.0 has the exact same nose and lips as Madeline. She has the exact same nose and lips as Joe. I love that my babies look like him.

Since the baby is measuring big, I drank the super yummy orange drink on Thursday morning to check for gestational diabetes. On Friday, I got the results that I passed and I celebrated by asking Joe to bring home a sweet tea that night.

I'll go back to the doctor next week to be measured and will have another ultrasound in a couple weeks to see if some of the fluid has gone down.

In the meantime, I'll keep dreaming about those chubby cheeks and thanking God that even when I don't know everything that going on with my little baby, He does.

"For you created my inmost being

you knit me together in my mother's womb."

Psalm 139:13

P.S. The intense cravings included but did not always result in actual food consumption of: peppermint hot chocolate, Boogie Burger, P.F. Chang's orange peel chicken, dulce de leche frozen yogurt, Jimmy John's Vito (with hot peppers), refried beans and jalapenos and Kroger french bread.

P.S.S. The kiddie chapter books included finishing "Ramona and Beezus." My love for this book and my joy in reading it to Madeline could be a blog post alone. She loved listening to it and we already ordered "Ramona the Pest" from the library. Some days I miss my little baby but things like reading real chapter books together make me thrilled for the 4-year-old I have.

P.S.S.S. After seeing the latest pictures, do you think Baby Rockne is a boy or girl? Joe and I both now think the baby is a girl but everyone who has seen the pictures so far are convinced boy all the way.

Nap Time in Naptown: The Lilly Theater at The Children's Museum of Indianapolis

I've never written a post on The Children's Museum of Indianapolis because...well, it's awesomeness speaks for itself in this city. I think most parents know that we are lucky enough to have the best children's museum anywhere in the country.

But I'm not a planner when it comes to our museum trips. Normally, we go because of a conversation like this:

Me: "Well, Madeline, what should we do today?"
Madeline: "Let's do the Children's Museum!"
Me: "OK."

And then we go and play in whatever exhibit the wind takes Madeline.

But recently, I decided to plan a trip. The Lilly Theater, the museum's auditorium on the lower level, was about to wrap up "Snoopy!!! The Musical" and Madeline really wanted to see it.

I had been interested in checking out a show for awhile but thought I had to plan ahead to pick a day and time, get tickets and, as Tim Gunn would say, make it work.

I was totally wrong.

Shows in the Lilly Theater usually run for several weeks with performances at 1 and 3 p.m. every day. EVERY DAY, PEOPLE. Why did I think this type of experience required immense planning? If you're at the museum and want to attend a show, you can just get them at the museum ticket booth. Tickets are first-come, first-serve so as long as the performance isn't sold out, you can get tickets two minutes before it starts.

However, if you and I have nothing in common and you actually like planning, just know that members can reserve tickets ahead of time.

The Lilly Theater staff do just fine planning on their own because every show is just 40 minutes. Long enough for kids to have a real theater experience but short enough to hold most attention spans. And if you're bringing a baby, it's easy to plan around your babe's feeding schedule with two performances just 40-minutes long.

And I haven't even mentioned the best part. All shows in the Lilly Theater are free with museum admission. Free! For members. For non-members. For kids who pick their noses in public. Everyone!

Our family's verdict? The show was adorable. The cast danced in the aisles and the auditorium was perfectly sized, big enough to hold a crowd but small enough that every seat was a good one. Madeline was especially thrilled when Peppermint Patty asked her to come down on stage and sing the last song with her.

I know it might look like she's scared to death with a touch of uncertainty but I promise you she loved it.

And when she got to meet Snoopy afterwards? Her little world was rocked.

The next Lilly Theater show will be "Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz" opening on November 25. Madeline is already begging me to go see it. Even though I will be either 16 months pregnant or carrying a newborn, I can promise her we'll see it.

Because this mama is thankful that easy tickets, 40 minutes and free make it super easy to keep my promises.

Indiana State Fair, how we love thee

Oh, Indiana State Fair, you are...

 

a gigantic corndog to be washed down by...

a ginormous Lemon Shake-Up...

followed up with a Bavarian cream funnel cake that I will dream about until the day I die.

At the Indiana State Fair, my little girl ...

rides around on Poppi's shoulders when her little feet are tired of walking in pink cowboy boots...

laughs hysterically at her cousin when he does anything...

and she begs to be in the girls' shot but then acts like she totally doesn't care.

Indiana State Fair, you provide more opportunities for enthusiasm than this mother thought possible. Especially since it really was just a little shiny silver car.

P.S. Thanks to Jenny for taking all these pics. Without her, I would have one dusty phone picture. Maybe.

Week 25: BIG

This babe is as long as an eggplant, as heavy as a rutabaga and (even without any photos) as cute as a bunny in a sunny meadow with a ginormous rainbow shining down. 

And possibly yellow daffodils and Reese Witherspoon in the background.

Thanks to Jenny and the State Fair, I have an actual bump shot.

Actual recent conversation:

Me: "I feel like I'm really big."

Joe: "Don't take this the wrong way but you are."

P.S. I love being pregnant. No sarcasm, I just do.

The one where I bought a gun at Walmart

For the last couple birthdays and Christmases, we let Madeline pick out her gifts for Joe and I. 

Her idea has to be reasonable (around $10-$15) but other than that, we don't place any restrictions on her gifts. This doesn't mean I immediately go out and buy whatever she says the first time I ask her. I try to let her think about options for awhile but I don't try to talk her out of it either.

This explains why Joe and I both received piggy banks this past Christmas but it also explains why I love my piggy bank so much and why it will (possibly) (maybe not) be on my nightstand forever. It was from her heart and she is still so proud of her gifts.

Joe's birthday was last month and I started the gift conversation a couple weeks earlier. When I first asked her what she wanted to buy Daddy, she immediately said, "Peter's Nerf gun."

In case you're thinking that was code for something else, it wasn't. She meant this:

You know, every mother's dream for her little girl's gift-giving repertoire.

Needless to say, I wasn't overjoyed at the prospect of spending $10 on that. But each time I asked her what she wanted to give Daddy, she responded the same way, "Peter's Nerf gun."

After a ridiculously long time, I finally had the brilliant idea to ask why. With a huge grin, she yelled, "Because Daddy could come home from work and I could hide and he could find me and then HE COULD SHOOT ME!"

Again, every mother's dream for her little girl but her enthusiasm melted my heart just the same.

So we bought the Nerf and I'm thankful for every Walmart penny we spent on it. The last several weeks have been Madeline and Joe taking turns hiding around the house, hunkered down in eager anticipation for the other to blast a piece of tiny orange foam.

Screams. Giggles. Feet pounding the wood floors. More screaming. More laughing.

It's such a joy to listen to her heart and watch it play out perfectly.

My first prayers involving the State Fair

I may have mentioned once or twice that I check People.com a lot. Today there is an article on on Indianapolis which would normally give me extra excitement.

Except it was about how a stage collapsed into a crowd who were waiting for Sugarland to perform at the State Fair. Five people were killed and more than 40 were injured.

Last night, Madeline and I met my family at our favorite Mexican restaurant for a going-away dinner for my cousin. Outside the windows, trees were whipping and bending and I made a joke that it was hurricane season.

We waited for the rain to ease up and made a dash to the car. Once home, Janna sent a text asking if we were watching the news about the fair. Once I turned on the TV, it stayed on for the next three hours. The pictures and video from the tragedy are gripping and awful.

Joe and I immediately checked Facebook to see if any of our friends were at the show and, sure enough, we both knew several people who went. One of my friends posted a picture of her two little girls in the grandstand, waiting for the concert to start. I knew they weren't close to the stage, but I still prayed her girls were safe because in the panic and chaos, the news was reporting that some kids were separated from parents.

So many others friends and I were relieved when she updated. They were home and safe.

I've read stories like this before but it's never happened just down the street from my house. It's never happened at a place I had been just two days before. It's never happened at a place I associate with only happy memories (except the rampant manure smells).

I'm hoping to raise my kid right. I want to raise her with a strong love for all things Hoosier. When she's older, she might see some of these photos and be moved like her mom when she sees the photos of the people who rushed towards the stage to help those trapped underneath. I want her to also see a picture of a woman who attended the concert in her jean skirt and cowboy boots but then don blue gloves and used her skills as a nurse to help an injured man.

Photographic evidence shows I'm succeeding so far in cultivating State Fair love in Madeline but in the meantime, we'll keep praying for everyone involved in the tragedy last night. May they feel God's everlasting peace, comfort and love.

She's my kid

I'm not sure when it happened. I was just pureeing butternut squash for my baby but when I turned around, there was a little girl asking me to clip on her earrings before small group because the other (older) girls wear earrings.

Then she asked me if she could have a piece of bubble gum before we left. After she chomped on it for a few minutes, she said, "Mama, I feel like a 10-year-old when I chew my gum."

It's impossible to label this child as boring. She radiates joy and embraces life. 

She calls oscillating fans "dancing fans."

She's responsible for 50 percent of my ever-deepening laugh lines. (Her daddy is responsible for the other half.)

When I hopped around in pain after stubbing my pinky toe while carrying shoes back to my bedroom, she ran to her room to get me a stuffed animal and then ask if she could put away the shoes so I could sit down. 

She is my daughter, her daddy's little girl, our first-born and the sugar in our lives. 

We love her more than our luggage.

Nap Time in Naptown: Indiana State Fair

Giddy up, it's that time again.

The Indiana State Fair is underway and we are so excited. Remember how much I love traditions? Well our fair experience is definitely a tradition because we do that same things every year and I love it.

Last year we went four times and gave ourselves titles of "Fair Groupies." We go often because we only go on our favorite discount days, the Indy Star free days and $2 Tuesdays.

Buy a couple newspapers today to get free admission coupons to use either this Wednesday or Thursday. Or print out the Turkey Hill coupons and get in this Tuesday and next Tuesday for just $2 AND buy $2 portions from different food vendors throughout the fair.

This year, we'll head back to Madeline's favorite section: Little Hands on the Farm in Riley's Fun Park.

I love it too because it's totally free and every year kids walk away with a free hat and snack.

At the farm, kids can learn how food is planted, harvested and delivered to grocery stores to end up at their kitchen tables.

Speaking of healthy, fresh food (ha!), our fair food tradition always includes some combination of the following:

• grilled cheese sandwiches at the Dairy Bar
• grilled corn from the Lions Club
• Bloomin' Onions
• funnel cakes
• Lemon Shake-Ups

Please note that this list does not and will not include deep-fried Kool-Aid or the chicken sandwiched between two waffles. I do have some dignity.

However, I can't gather much dignity because my food list definitely means a slight waddle by the end of the night. And since I'm pregnant, I'm sure the waddle will have extra sway. It won't be pretty but it does mean the fair was a lot of fun. Yum, yum.

Week 24

I cannot believe I'm almost done with the second trimester. However, I can believe that, despite my best intentions, I've only taken one belly photo. You can be assured that some things about my character will never change.

Like my complete inability to capture meaningful moments with a camera.

I heard the baby's heartbeat again last week and everything still looks perfect and healthy.

I am feeling the baby move a lot and I love it! I thought Madeline moved and kicked a lot but this baby apparently wants to be known as Pelé Mayes. When I lie down at night, I can watch areas of my belly go up and down with the baby's strong movements. And every night, I still get giddy when it happens.

Last week, Madeline felt the baby move for the first time. She seemed excited when I asked if she wanted to feel the baby but her attention span was calculating in nanoseconds. She would put her hand on my belly, immediately lift up and declare, "I didn't feel it." Luckily Pelé moves about every three seconds so this activity didn't take up too much of Madeline's busy social life. When she felt the definite movement, she looked up at me with an expression I can only describe as amazed. Which is exactly how I feel every time I feel the life within me.

When I was pregnant with Madeline, I was working in an office and spent every penny for maternity clothes on business-appropriate winter pieces. I lived in old t-shirts and pajama pants during the weekends. Now my daily life doesn't really necessitate button-up shirts and wool slacks and that tub of clothes has been untouched. But then two friends gave me tons of maternity clothes and I'm grateful for all of it. I now live in an endless supply of maternity tank tops, a black skirt and jean skirt.

I love these tank tops and skirts. Almost as much as Katie Cup.

In bummer news, I'm officially in the sleeping horribly phase and we all know this "phase" of poor sleeping lasts until the baby is around 17 months old. (Dear God, please don't let it be longer this time around. Amen, Katie.) I bought a new body pillow in hopes that nights would stop equaling a UFC match between me and the bed but, alas, it hasn't helped too much. I'm frequently awake until 2 a.m., I'm uncomfortable in any position and I wake up every hour.

To clarify from my last baby post, we are not finding out the gender of this babe. We found out with Madeline which I loved because I connected with her in a completely different way from that moment on.  But I just think it would be so fun to be surprised in the delivery room this time around.

Sidenote: If you know someone else who has decided to not find out, please don't tell them their choice is "really annoying." I find that statement really annoying. Just tell me you would never choose that. That's totally OK with me.

Anyways.

More times than not, I refer to the baby as a boy but I promise I don't know at all if we are having a boy or a girl. I just sometimes say "him" because I don't like referring to my baby as "it." I'm really not trying to play mind games with you. I'm racking my brain every day to remember where I last left Katie Cup so I definitely don't have the mental strength to tease you.

However, if you want sheer opinions, Joe and I both think this baby is a boy. This pregnancy is pretty different from my first one and we just feel this one might be a boy. I'm no statistician but I think we have a 50 percent chance at being right. Some time around Thanksgiving, we'll all find out!

Instilling the essentials

As parents, Joe and I definitely have our own lists of what we want Madeline to appreciate in life. I don't want to speak for Joe but I'm pretty certain his list includes an appreciate for Bon Iver, biking and fishing.

Among many other items, my list includes a love for jigsaw puzzles.

(It's OK if that statement makes you want to push aside my walker, pull up a chair and spoon-feed me chicken noodle soup. I understand.)

I love puzzles. Years ago, I remember thinking that when I had a family of my own, I would set up a table that would always have an unfinished puzzle so anyone could sit down at any time to work on it.

And then I wondered why the cool kids never invited me to sit at their lunch table.

This week, a little bit of my dream came true.

I sold some books to Half Price Books and promised myself I wouldn't spend the money in the store.

The major flaw in this plan was to not spend money in a bookstore. Even bookmarks whisper to me when I walk in.

I passed a table of puzzles on the way out and I spied this big Disney one.

I've been looking for a harder puzzle for Madeline and knew this would be perfect. She loves puzzles and does her three Princess puzzles, one Cars puzzle and one Barbie puzzle nearly every day. She's done them so many times that she finishes all of them in one 15-minute sitting. 

And did I mention this happens nearly every day? Clearly it was time to push her to a new level.

This new puzzle is 750 pieces, way too much for her to do on her own but perfect if Joe and I helped her.

The next morning, she woke me up with a request to start the puzzle. After an hour of puzzling, we finally ate breakfast.

I don't know if this kind of time lapse has ever happened before. She typically wakes me up demanding food because nothing gets between this girl and her yogurt. But apparently a giant Disney puzzle can.

 

After three days of on and off puzzle action and eating meals around developing images of Cruella De Vil and Peter Pan, we finished the puzzle last night.

My husband and this little girl keep making all my dreams come true, even the nerdy ones.

We are a family

Last night, Joe and I helped Madeline gather her favorite stuffed animals, sang "Who's the King of the Jungle," prayed together and tucked her into bed.

An hour later, she was just wide awake so I crawled into her bed to snuggle for a bit. We cuddled silently in her dark room with the fan humming while I stroked her hair.

After a few minutes, she turned on her side to face me and whispered, "I love you, Mommy and I love Baby Rockne and I love Daddy and we are a family."

I kissed her sweet face, whispered back, "Yes we are" and wiped my tears.

I had to write out that moment so I want to always remember that my life is brimming with blessings.