I really think if someone brought me a platter of Buffalo boneless chicken wings, Monical's breadsticks, a Taco Bell nachos supreme, Christina's spicy cheesy chicken dip and a Boogie Burger, I could eat it all in one sitting.
Preggers, party of one.
I’ve reached some critical, noteworthy milestones in this pregnancy so let's make note of them.
In full disclosure, my engagement ring hasn’t fit since, oh, about 8 weeks into the pregnancy. When Joe gave it to me, it was fitted to circle my pre-wedding-sized finger. My wedding band has always been slightly looser since it has stayed a standard store size. But this week, I had to fight the wedding band off so I don't risk having it cut off.
I’m a little sad about that. It's not because my fingers are getting pudgy (just wait until my feet turned into swollen, non-hairy Hobbit feet in November). I just really love my wedding band. It’s a simple, thin band without any sparkle or glitz and has a special engraving on the inside. But that’s why I love it to the moon and back. For the record, I really love the diamonds on my engagement ring but I love looking down and seeing something so simple to symbolize how much I love Joe.
Now I'm faced with a major decision: should my finger go nekkid for the next several months (let's be real, potentially the next year) or should I go buy an over-the-top Walmart $8.88 ring? These are the questions that plague my days.
And if you know me at all, you must have already known that I'm seriously contemplating something like this.
2. Laundry baskets, my belly and stairs are a dangerous cocktail.
Now this is a milestone I can totally get behind. Our washer and dryer are down in the dark dungeon of our basement (also known as the entry point for Matilda). Needless to say, this is my least favorite spot in the house. Now that my belly has reached an immense diameter, it’s tricky to carry the baskets down the uneven steps and I'm in need a strong man’s arms. Like Joe’s.
I still do the laundry once it’s down there but he’s now in charge of carrying the baskets up and down the stairs. The one negative aspect of this arrangement is folding. I like to reward myself at the end of laundry days by piling all the clean clothes on our bed, fold the clothes and put them away, all while watching “Judge Judy.” (Don’t judge.)
So should I let the clothes get wrinkled in a basket all day while I wait for 4 p.m. to roll around or do I just put on my big girl pants and fold without "You think you're smarter than me?!" and "Do I look like an idiot?" shouting in the background?
My life is tough, folks.
3. Madeline is Queen of the Dustpan
In a house with all hardwood floors, I have to sweep every day. Between my scalp’s lifelong dream to shed every stand of hair and Joe’s love for peanuts, our house can very quickly resemble a hairy, dusty Texas Roadhouse if I don’t stay on top of it.
But, again, due to the girth of my belly, I can no longer touch the floor which means Madeline has to retrieve all the small items and coins that I drop. It also means she has to press the edge of a dustpan to the floor while I maneuver the broom because there is no other option.
Thankfully Madeline is young enough to think housework is awesome, especially since she and I have matching handmade aprons sewn by Jenn. We spent Monday in our aprons cleaning the house. She was so adorable as she helped and I was surprised by how much she is capable of doing. After I washed the dishes, she rinsed and put them in the drying rack. She held the dustpan and emptied it in the trash. She folded laundry (I had to re-fold but totally didn’t mind) and put the piles away in the appropriate drawers. She was so helpful and Joe couldn’t help but bring home a bag of Skittles for her. We were pretty proud of her.