Forgetting and remembering

It's not a crime that our kids grow up. I have truly loved every stage Madeline has grown into over the last several years and motherhood is raising kids, not keeping kids. I'm not scared of the number five or kindergarten or bikes without training wheels. I know I'm going to love 5 because 1, 2, 3 and 4 were more fun than I thought possible.

No, the crime isn't that our kids grow up but that we can't remember our days with them. Maybe I'm the only one with a terrible memory but I seriously have a hard time remembering what I did last week so you better believe my memories of Madeline as a baby and toddler are scarce and few. I can recall bits and pieces but only when I look at pictures and read through my old blog do I remember specific events and daily routines.

That's the reason I mainly blog about the fluffy, happy things in my life. Because 30 years from now, I want to remember the joyful details and why I laugh all the time. We know life isn't shiny and perfect all the time. My life is not a Pinterest board. There's way more sadness, stress and exhaustion than my Facebook statuses or Twitter updates let on. But sometimes sadness is easier to remember than happiness later in life so for all these reasons and more, I chose now to capture the small, happy details in my life.

But 30 years from now, I'm probably going to wonder why I was so obsessed with butter. Actually, I bet you $100 and a Cracker Barrel chicken fried chicken plate that I'll still be obsessed with butter in 2042.

For today, I hope I forget how exhausted I was this morning after staying up until 2 a.m. and how Caleb woke up throughout the night. I hope I forget how tired my legs felt after grocery shopping and how I really really didn't want to put away the groceries. I hope I forget how Caleb cried in the car because I left his pacifier behind.

What I want to remember about today is Joe took Caleb outside to the porch swing to listen to the pouring rain after Caleb started fussing during dinner.

I want to remember how we finished our meal outside because Madeline wants to be near The Basketball Player at all times.

I want to remember how Madeline loves giving thumbs up and corn on the cob.

I want to remember how Madeline loves rainbow nail polish on her toes.

I want to remember how Madeline crosses her legs like a tiny lady.

I want to remember how Madeline might cross her legs like a lady but still act like the hilarious 4-year-old she is when she realizes I'm taking pictures of her.

I want to remember how much fun motherhood is to a 4 year old and 5 month old and just how much I love my family.

I didn't see the unicorn lamp coming

Friday was a fabulous day. The kids and I had a super laid-back morning of playing, coloring, reading and napping. I am definitely a homebody mom because these are my favorite kind of days. I just soak in our days at home.

Madeline and I read three chapters of "Charlotte's Web." She is loving this book and wants to read it all in one sitting. She especially loves listening while sitting on top of pillows on top of me.

Caleb has been eating rice cereal every now and then for a couple of weeks. At first he hated it. 

Then he was kinda indifferent while pushing it out with his tongue. But on Friday, apparently he decided he could not get enough and began attacking the spoon with his mouth, hands and feet.

On Saturday morning, Joe made pancakes and we watched Andrew Luck's interview on Letterman. I'm very ready to cheer on a new Colts team and needed to meet my new quarterback. We tried to explain to Madeline how Luck is the new Peyton. This is a much more difficult concept for a 4-year-old to grasp than you would think. (Please note the two butter tubs on the table. I LOVE MY FAUX-BUTTER.)

After breakfast, we headed to one of our favorite places on Planet Earth, Midland Antiques. During this visit, we learned that part of Madeline's heart exists as a hot pink unicorn lamp and the visit turned into Mission No Unicorn Left Behind.

She fell in love with it and for $10, we needed to make this happen. So we bought it and she kept exclaiming, "I can't believe you bought me a pony!"

After we got home, we put the unicorn (now named Sandy, of course) on a dresser in Madeline's room, she laid down for a nap and I ran out for a few errands. When Madeline woke up, Joe texted me this photo. Apparently she wants to take Sandy everywhere with her. No one puts a unicorn in the corner.

On Sunday, we went to church, played Skip-Bo, watched "The IT Crowd" and went to a party with gobs of Joe's cousins. It was a fantastic party, thanks to all the fun people, spicy ribs and Chick-Fil-A waffle fries.

Then we came home for Sunday's family movie night and watched "Fantasia." Surprisingly, Madeline liked it. Joe made popcorn, of course.

Even if the world ran out of root beer, dairy-free ice cream and unicorn lamps, my life would still be fantastic, thanks to these kids, my husband and our times together.

The weekend we TORE IT UP

Before I can write a weekend wrap-up post, I have to share two things.

First, glow-in-the-dark pacifiers are genius. GENIUS. I bought two a couple weeks ago and I am thankful for that tiny glow in the crib every night. And when Caleb is old enough to find his pacifier during the night, I think I’m going to be even more grateful.

Secondly, I found a dairy-free butter and you will have to pry it from my piano-strong fingers to take it away. I ate way too many everything bagels and sweet Hawaiian rolls this weekend, all slathered in faux-butter. Have I mentioned I’ve missed butter? Because I have. So much. Oh, I love you faux-butter.

Friday night started the weekend with a bang. Joe ran out to pick up Taco Bell and we watched “Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows” while playing Skip-Bo. (Joe is currently beating me 245 – 210. He doesn’t understand why I keep score when we continually play game after game but I just always need to know. I think the official diagnosis is commonly known as “competitive.”) I really love watching the Sherlock films, how they are filmed and edited but I need to be honest. During all two hours, I understood what was happening only about 29 percent of the time.

On Saturday morning, Joe took Madeline out while Caleb and I slept in. It was a very lazy, very ideal morning. When they came back, Madeline and I drank tea while I read books on her bed. We all played My Little Pony board game, Skip-Bo and Crazy 8’s. Then we headed over to my parent’s house because Joe and I had our first date night since Caleb was born. I had a hard time leaving my little guy but I was so excited to have an adult night.

So what did we do without kids? We watched a teen movie, of course.

The first time we left Madeline was to watch “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.” This time, we watched “The Hunger Games.” I think these two “after baby” dates clearly epitomize my love for teen literature and my husband’s willingness to put my wants first.

When the movie was done, we checked in with my parents who told me, as nicely as they could, that my kids weren’t missing me at all and possibly may have even forgot about me.

So we decided to really live it up. We went crazy. Y’all, we decided to hit up the Sprint store and The Container Store. The only stop missing was a vegetable plate and cold custard cup from MCL. (And I’m only half joking. I love that meal.)

My phone has all kinds of issues so the Sprint people said the best thing to do was completely wipe and restart the phone, meaning I would lose all of my info, pictures and videos. In one moment, I knew my most precious things on my phone were my book list (of the books I've read so far in 2012), the list of names we went through for Caleb and this photo:

At The Container Store, we almost bought a trash can. We really need a trash can. We found one for exactly the same amount of money on our store credit card. But we didn't buy it, solely because we could not bring ourselves to buy a trash can on date night.

On Sunday, we went to the 11 a.m. service and were fashionably very late. Nothing reminds me more that I’m a parent to little one than missing the ENTIRE worship set. You know, the solid 30 minutes before the sermon. 

Because Caleb can be a little diva at times, we mainly attend church by watching the service on the TV in the coffee shop. (What, isn’t your church is set-up like an airport?) Anyways, we sat with Joe’s cousin and wife, Josh and Erin. They like the coffee shop church experience because Erin is currently 41 weeks pregnant and finds it’s much more comfortable to sit there than in the sanctuary. (And when I say “much more comfortable,” I think we all know she's incapable of remembering the pure definition of comfortable at this point.)

Then we all went to Cracker Barrel after church. I was really excited but only slightly (read: terribly) bummed to realize I couldn’t eat anything on the menu. No pancakes. No biscuits. No gravy. Not even corn or green beans. I asked the waitress if any of the sides didn’t already have butter in them. Joe later asked why I actually asked if CRACKER BARREL didn't have BUTTER in their SIDE DISHES. I know.

I ordered a pork BBQ sandwich which was just OK. However, Joe ordered the meal of my dreams: chicken fried chicken with gravy, mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, dumplings and biscuits.

There's a strong possibility that I will eat that meal the minute Caleb is weaned. That meal will live on in my dreams.

After our long lunch, we headed to Madeline's preschool for a spaghetti dinner and art show.

Clearly it was a fundraising event because we had the option of buying our child's art. Um, could anyone leave their child's art up on the art? No way. But it was money very well spent, despite the fact that I have approximately 382 paintings around my house right now.

Madeline loves, LOVES her teacher. I'm so very thankful her first experience with school has been so positive and all of that credit goes to this lady.

Then we came home for Sunday movie night and we watched "The Apple Dumpling Gang." Madeline loved it. I was trying to figure out why I loved it so much as a kid.

Then we put the kids to bed and watched "The Amazing Race" and ate carnitas. (I don't know why I feel compelled to tell you guys about every morsel I ate. I apologize. But I won't stop.)

I wanted to eat an entire pint of ice cream but controlled myself and went to bed, thinking about how I need to get back to The Container Store to buy that trash can. Awesome.

The long and short of it

Whoever coined "The days are long but the years are short" was sooooooo a parent because that phrase totally captures my life right now. (Hello, Valley Girl Katie. We meet again.) I feel like every day in April has been long and drawn-out and Joe's car never appears one minute too early on the curb.

But then suddenly it's Friday again, the month is nearly over and I'm wondering how I got here and who are these incredibly old kids calling me Mom?

Then I look through my phone pictures and I remember. Oh, yes. I remember. A good phone dump also explains why I'm tired all the time.

This is what happens when I attempt to read.

No, that's not a library book. Definitely not.

Madeline made a full recovery and learned all about outer space at school this week. (A picture of her astronaut suit will be posted soon. It is awesome.) Her class made a rocket ship and she firmly believes painting is a full-contact sport. This picture doesn't truly capture how there is paint in her hair, on her face, on her shirt, on her pants and on her shoes. Only the socks were left unscathed.

Caleb is now five months and nearly a man. (Slight exaggeration.)

He might be a fussy almost-man but oh my, I love him. You'll probably see his 5 month post in about 23 days. I would promise it sooner but let's be honest. There's "Duck Dynasty" and "The Soup" to be watched this weekend.

Speaking of growing older, here's a picture of Madeline looking all adult and all. Sure, she's sitting on a mini Mayan ruin outside The Children's Museum while rocking a Tinkerbell watch, Indian necklace and pink cowgirl boots but she also looks way older than possible because I'm pretty sure I gave birth to her just last month.

Last weekend, I got a text from Janna asking if she could bring something over. A few minutes later, she was on our porch with a bag full of this:

That would be SEVEN pints of dairy-free ice cream. If you don't know, dairy-free ice cream is expensive. Joe gave me three pints for my birthday because each one is several dollars a pop.The ones Janna brought over were originally $6.59 each. EACH.

But she got them marked down to $.99 (NINETY-NINE CENTS Y'ALL) and, because she loves me and knows how much I need this, she brought every last pint.

I know people tend to have strong feelings about Almond Joy candy bars. Love or hate, there's appears to be no middle ground. However, I'm in the love category of all things coconut which is so helpful being dairy-free. This ice cream is toasted almond chip coconut milk ice cream and tastes like a frozen Almond Joy.

I'm in heaven and need you guys to hold me accountable to not eat these before Cinco de Mayo. (There' s no significance to Cinco de Mayo; it's just that I don't need to eat seven pints of ice cream in two weeks. Specifically, my hips don't need that.) (My hips, they don't lie.)

May your weekend be filled with your equivalent of my root beer and back-woods reality shows.

P.S. I cannot get enough of this laugh.

Pirate days

Guess what Madeline has been learning about at preschool. 

I know, I know. It would help if she were wearing a few visual clues.

She asked me to take a picture of her best pirate expression which turned into possibly one of my favorite photos ever.

Please note that she turned Caleb’s exersaucer into a pirate ship (the Jolly Roger is taped on in the back). I had no idea she was such a thuggish matey. Because, really, when most people meet Madeline, they are startled by how thuggish she is.

Every now and then, I have experiences I refer to (in my head) as “Total Mom Moments.” These are little fragments of time when I understand I am totally and completely, no-going-back, a real mom.

In the middle of errands this morning, I was nursing Caleb in the library parking lot when I got a call from Madeline’s preschool. She was in the director’s office with a stomachache and asking for me to come get her. In one moment, I was my son’s sole physical nourishment and my daughter’s sole emotional comfort and I wanted nothing more than to hold both of them right that second.

Total Mom Moment.

Also, I hadn’t showered, had yesterday’s eye liner smudged under my eyes and my left shoulder was stained in dried spit-up. And let’s not even discuss the status of the epic fabric disaster, formerly known as my Honda’s backseat.

Those things seal the deal too.

So instead of errands and a birthday party today, we came home and dealt with much vomit and diarrhea and a very sad, very sick little girl.

Madeline was really brave but I knew how terrible she felt by her mini-breakdowns throughout the day. After she threw up the first time, she looked at me with very pitiful eyes and said, “Oh Mom. I’m totally sick.”

Yes, she can be completely miserable, absolutely pathetic and yet captivatingly adorable, all at the same time.

So we cuddled on the couch in between numerous bathroom breaks and read all 82 stories in the Richard Scarry's Best Storybook Ever. Now, I like this book but OH YOU GUYS. I do not recommend reading it in one sitting. Your brain will beg for mercy in the form of an Elizabeth Gaskell novel or “Judge Judy” and yet, if you have a sick kiddo, your heart will deny you both.

I think I’ve clearly documented my inability to handle any form of expelled bodily fluid but I was pretty proud of myself today. I didn’t call Joe in for backup and I handled all the messes on my own, without throwing up myself. Poor Madeline knows she has a wimp of a mother and asked repeatedly, “Are you going to throw up, Mom?” with a very worried look on her face.

Today ended on a decent note. Madeline is still sick but doing much better. And if you want to see how she rolls on a sick day, this picture captures her personality so well.

 Oh, I love my sick little pirate.

Hello Thursday??

This week has flown by. Joe has been working long days and then working on a side project in the evenings so the last couple of days have felt long and slightly blurry.

I've had better weeks than this one. While nothing awful has happened, not winning the Mega Millions or my NCAA brackets sure didn't help either. (I've heard buying lotto tickets actually increases one's chances of winning so maybe I should look into that next time.)

Today was one of my favorite days in preparing for Easter and I had been looking forward to sharing it with Madeline. We read the story of Jesus' death from the Jesus Storybook Bible and why He died a horrible death for us.

My favorite line in that Bible is, "It wasn't the nails that kept Jesus there. It was love." So we drew heart-shaped nail marks and when I looked at my hand throughout the day, I remembered just how overwhelming God's love is for me.

(Can you guess which hand I did and which hand she did? This girl loves to write names, especially on her own skin.)

And if you wonder why I love the Jesus Storybook Bible so much, this interview with the author makes it so so clear. I want to print out her words and tape them inside my head and my kids' heads. "The Bible isn't mainly about me, and what I should be doing. It's about God and what he has done." And we all said, "AMEN."

Jen Hatmaker's Easter posts (part one and part two) have been messing with me too and challenging me to wrestle with the fact that my purpose in life has nothing to do with being a sanitized rule keeper. I love how she says "the [American] church is not beyond the movement of Jesus" because I read this as "Katie is not beyond the movement of Jesus." There is so much hope for me to change.

Caleb has had a hard week and since he's almost 5 months old, he's at the point when everything will be blamed on teething. Fussy? Teething. Not sleeping well? Teething. Who knows if he is actually is teething but the little man is fussy and wants to be held around the clock. 

I love holding him and will always pick snuggling with my kiddos over anything else but that means I haven't been productive at all, which is probably why:

1. I'm shocked it's already Thursday
2. We have no clean clothes 
3. I'm sad to announce I finished "Doc Martin" season four and have no more to watch right now.

The temperatures have been summer-ish for a little while but now that Joe and Madeline have gone fishing, my mind has officially switched to summer mode. (Although can we all look into the possibility of having summer without bathing suits this year? Can this be the year it's stylish to wear an aquatic burka?)

There's so much I love about this picture from their smiles to the hot pink Barbie fishing pole. For the record, no matter how many "Duck Dynasty" or "Swamp People" shows I watch, I will never be able to hold a fish like that. Nor do I want to.

I've been researching different insurance plans for us and hopefully we will start saving a ton (and I mean a TON) of money when we switch. It's one of those things that I'm excited to learn we can save money but also so mad at myself for not looking into it sooner. Even though I'm thankful to have health insurance, now knowing how much we could have been saving makes me feel like we've been wasting money.

All this to say, nothing makes me feel more like a real adult than trying to figure out insurance and listening to Kenny G while on hold. Forget the fact that I have a husband, two kids and a mortgage. Just start talking HSAs and PPOs with a background of smooth saxophone and I suddenly feel ancient.

Final note. I've gotten into a very bad pattern of being exhausted between 3 - 5 p.m., telling myself I WILL go to bed at 8 p.m. that night but come kids bedtime, I stay up until midnight playing Skip-Bo and reading and watching TV. This is probably why my weeks are blurry.

P.S. If this post is more ramble-ly than usual, it's because it was written between 3:15 - 5:27 a.m. Ten bucks says I'll pass out on the couch this afternoon but stay up late tonight.

We had fun even if we didn't go frog hunting

Before I start my lengthy weekend recap: Oh my, Joe and I have been basking in the bliss of discovering a new show we both like. It’s called “Duck Dynasty” and I’m in love.

OH MY, Y’ALL.

I never would have dreamed that I would like a show in which one star sits in a huge camouflage recliner and eats squirrel while another wears a camouflage robe while yet another thinks frog hunting is the most fun one can have in life.

It’s pretty much the ultimate antithesis to “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”

For the record, Jase is my favorite but Phil is pretty unbelievable too. I will warn you, I’ve looked away several times because I’m extremely squeamish. I can’t handle “CSI” or any horror film and now I can add beheading frogs with a cleaver and skinning squirrels to the list. 


But dude. This show is so worth it.

Anyways. On Friday night, we headed out for the monthly cousin game night. My mom called on the way and asked if they could take Madeline out for frozen yogurt. We u-turned and met them at Huddles because how can we deny a little girl some Mimi, Poppi and sprinkles? She was totally dressed for the occasion in her pink cowboy hat, Big Sister shirt and Minnie Mouse shoes.

My parents asked if she could spend the night if we wanted to stay out late which sounds even better to everyone involved. So we kissed our little girl goodnight and headed to the party. It was a night of games, snacks and storytelling. I laughed too much and ate a life-altering snack, bacon-wrapped water chestnuts. We stayed out way past our bedtime.

Even though we were dead tired when we got home, we managed to squeeze in one more “Duck Dynasty” episode before falling asleep.


On Saturday morning, I fed Caleb, did my BSF study and made cornbread and sausage for breakfast. After Joe woke up, we drank our coffee and tea and went to pick up our girl. We spent some time with my parents, which meant my dad pushed Caleb around the house in his office chair. For some reason, Poppi and the baby love this.

Then we headed up to Joe’s mom’s house to complete all happiness in Madeline’s childhood: her first horse ride. 

I hope I never forget her face or her excitement. It was precious.

I'm not sure we'll ever be able to top this.

We went home and nothing exciting happened the evening except rounds and rounds of Skip-Bo. Joe and I are neck and neck right now.

Caleb was up a lot through the night and I’m so ready for him to sleep straight through. In the morning, Joe let me sleep in again. (Bless him.) When I woke up, Joe and Madeline were playing chess. I truly hope she learns that game with him because mama is more of a non-strategy/non-heavy thinking type girl herself. Like Scrabble, Boggle and all card games.

Joe ran out for a bit and called me to say he had a flat tire. Nothing’s dampens a blissful afternoon like the sudden impending cost of car tires.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in our front yard. Madeline laid out her blanket and pillow under a tree and ran down to the sidewalk every time a person walked by with a dog. Her latest thing is to invite anyone up on our front porch which makes me laugh. One neighbor and her son said yes, making Madeline giddy with excitement. Between her bike, chalk and toys, she was quickly overwhelmed by how much she wanted to show them and I had to keep reminding her to calm down. She makes it so easy for us to meet neighbors and that makes me so happy.

We came inside when it started to get dark and worked on our “Sense of the Resurrection” craft. We read the story of how Jesus was arrested and Madeline wanted to draw a picture of “the bad guys and Jesus and all the swords.” It left a big impression on her how Peter cut off a soldier’s ear. We watched “Madagascar 2” as our Sunday night movie. (I love Moto Moto. “The name so nice you say it twice.”)

We finally captured Caleb laughing on camera. I confess I've watched this video about 30 times. My son is uber adorable.